Allison Michelle Manley started her superb existence in Ft. Stewart, Georgia.
Her parents (a father, then a member of the U.S. army/photographer, and a
mother, a Polish economist) moved to Chicago in hopes of a better life. Soon
the northwest suburbs became the location of the charming family's new
home, and young Allison spent her time idolizing frogs, writing short stories,
and maintaining her neuroticism. As she aged rapidly, she developed a
love for literature and religious studies (in addition to all other
humanities, and the cool sciences). You'll probably catch her
awkwardly dancing or comparing herself to Michael from Arrested
Development.
Likes: Peanuts!, solipsism, fountains, and mochas.
Dislikes: poster tack, seeing someone you kind of know up
ahead and debating when/if you say hello.
Abilities: electrostatic shock, hair-whipping.
Weaknesses: receiving flattery, saying "no" to artistic situations.
Allison "How Existential" Manley: literary genius,
theologian, philosopher, playwright, Dali reincarnate, poet, muse, wit,
comedienne, gardener, babysitter, doodler, satirist, lover of curmudgeons, toaster.

Most people will agree that on that glorious September evening back in ' 89
when Will burst out of his mother's uterus, the world became a better place.
Will, a staunch liberal whose FAFSA estimated family contribution to his
college expenses was $24/year (I kid you not), grew up in St. Charles, IL,
an affluent, somewhat conservative suburb of Chicago (go figure). A theatre
major, Will is constantly worried about the future (oh dear) but decides to
remain stupidly optimistic. He is a total movie snob, plays Boggle just about
once a week, and is very, very enthusiastic about breakfast cereal (he even
sings "Let's get Cereal" to the tune of "Let's get Physical"
during meals. How embarrassing!) Will also enjoys reality competition
shows, singing, naps, ethnic jokes (oh lighten up) and parenthetical
asides (really?).
According to Will himself, he would make "a real good Vice President,
because I am dependable, forthright, smells good, has own printer and
scanner."
Suz's talent for forging close relationships with faculty dates to her
preschool days, when her frazzled mother would drop her off (desperate for a few hours
without a temper tantrum) and her teachers would welcome her with hugs and smiles,
declaring "It's just a delight to have Suzanne in the classroom!" (Suz's
mother would usually roll her eyes and mutter "Believe me, I'm delighted when
she's in the classroom too.") The difference now is that the temper tantrums
occur mainly when Suz has to wake up in the morning and walk to said classroom.
Her tips for convincing everyone you're a diligent student include drinking
lots of coffee, schmoozing with professors and learning obscure words. She hopes
to be able to assist Chapinos, through these skills and tips and many others,
in the pursuit of academic excellence.
Brimming with culture, our very own Benjamin Watkins redefines the piano. After he stopped
playing with his forehead, he found that his ability with his fingers was quite good. On average, Benjamin
sees 17 CSO shows per hour. Some say this is impossible, but clearly, they have never been Benjamin Watkins.
Benjamin knows all the best places in Chicago, and serves his duty well, by informing Chapin of any and all
cultural events that are coming.